The Magical Frying Pan of Love
by Yazu Katara and Toph Attack
Summary: Lots of love ensues, and people get hit with a magical frying pan! Random pairings ensue. Written in script form, 'cause we're weird.[Written by Yazu Katara, finally]


**A/N: Okay… we're back, and together, finally. Geez. Fuck Doctor Faustus… oh, wait, he's already in hell.**

**Faustus: Hi!**

**Oh, fuck.**

**Mistress Cozmoo: Watch your language!**

**Now, we are doing a totally random one-shot for the hell of it.**

**Mistress Cozmoo: YOU SWORE! I'M TELLING KARASU!**

**He's not here… ha!**

**Mistress Cozmoo: Fuck.**

**You fucking hypocrite!**

**Mistress Cozmoo: … ON WITH THE SHOW!**

Aang: Hi!

Mistress Monster: Aangy!

She jumps him.

Mistress Cozmoo: Hmmm…what to do…I KNOW!

She proceeds to hit Aang and Mistress Monster with her frying pan, and the effect is similar to that of being hit with one of Cupid's arrows.

Sokka: Oh, fuck.

Mistress Cozmoo: LANGUAGE!

She hits him with her frying pan, causing him to fall in love with Katara.

Sokka: Hey little lady…there's a PARTAY in my pants. And you're invited, dollface!

Katara: Whoa…

She backs away slowly. Determined to cause the incest to happen, Mistress Cozmoo hits Katara with her frying pan.

Katara: Sorry for denying you, darling!

She jumps Sokka, and they proceed to perform the Douchebaggian Twist.

Sokka: Is this your first time, dear sister?  
Katara: No…I've had lots of practice with Toph…and your Jane Fonda tapes.

Sokka: I love Jane's workouts, don't you?

Katara: Totally.

They continue with their…well, you get the idea.

Jet: I'm feeling suddenly…very unloved!

He bursts into tears at the sight of so much love between Mistress Monster, Aang, Sokka, and Katara.

Smellerbee: JET! Come to me, my little fluff!

Jet turns, and Smellerbee and Longshot are standing there, ready for some action. Mistress Cozmoo hits all three of them with her frying pan, and they promptly begin a three-way Russian Twist.

Jet: I feel loved!

Smellerbee and Longshot kiss him on both cheeks.

Meanwhile, Mistress Monster and Aang have gotten to fourth base and are proceeding to do the German Twist.

Aang: Heil Hitler!

In Hell:

Hitler: Hi, Aang!

Mussolini and that one Japanese guy from WWII jump Hitler.

Back…Wherever:

Mistress Cozmoo is standing in the middle of the floor, waiting for her next target.

Zuko runs in, getting singed by Azula's lightning.

Zuko: OW! RUN AWAY!

He rubs his bum where Azula hit him.

Mistress Cozmoo: Hmmm…to incest or not to incest? For whether it is nobler of mind to fear the slings and arrows of incestuousness….

Mistress Monster: YES!  
Mistress Cozmoo: Was that to Aang or me, Monster-chan?

Mistress Monster: BOTH!  
She rejoins Aang in her passionate love fest.

Mistress Cozmoo: Oh, to hell with it. Zuko!

Zuko comes closer, and Mistress Cozmoo hits him with the magical frying pan. He staggers around drunkenly, and then lays eyes on Azula.

Azula: No way in hell.

In Hell:

All in Hell: HI, AZULA!

Back…Wherever:

Azula: Hi, hell buddies!

Mistress Cozmoo hits her with the frying pan.

Azula: ZUKO!

Zuko: AZULA!  
Both: COME TO ME, MY LITTLE FLUFF!

Mistress Cozmoo: You've been listening to Lumiere again, haven't you all?

All (except Mistress Cozmoo): YES!  
They promptly begin to make out with each other.

Mistress Cozmoo: Then who does that leave me with?

Toph: Oh hell no!

In Hell:

All in Hell: HI, TOPH!

Back…Wherever:

Toph: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?  
In Hell:

All In Hell: WE ARE YOUR FANCLUB, TOPH!

Back…Wherever:

Toph: Oh shit.

Mistress Cozmoo: LANGUAGE!

She promptly hits Toph with the frying pan, and the afore-mentioned Earthbender joins Mistress Monster and Aang.

Aang: TOAST!

Mistress Monster: WOOT! THIS MEANS I'M BISEXUAL!

Mistress Cozmoo: You are, you douche bag.

Toph: SHUT UP AND KISS ME, YOU STUPID EARTHBENDER! YOU TOO, TWINKLETOES!

Katara and Sokka: Ah, young love…

They resume their love fest.

Mistress Cozmoo: My work here is done. But…what about me?

Kadaj, Sasuke Uchiha, Sephiroth, Roxas, Hatsuharu Sohma, Gaara, Yazoo (the male version), Hiei, Kurama, Sanzo, Sesshomaru, Koga, Miroku, Naraku, Ayame Sohma, Shigure Sohma, Hatori Sohma, and Anti-Cosmo all enter the apartment. Mistress Cozmoo gasps.

All of the Sexy Men: WE LOVE YOU, ZUZU!

Zuko: What?

Sexy Men: NOT YOU!  
They jump Mistress Cozmoo, and she passes out from so much love.

END

**A/N: Everyone is too busy having… you know. Bye people!**

**Mistress Cozmoo: SEX!!**

**This was written entirely by Mistress Cozmoo… with the A/N's by Mistress Monster.**

**Aang and Toph: Ahem.**

**Sexy Men: Ahem.**

**Mistresses Cozmoo and Monster: Coming fuzzy-wuzzy-bunny-kinsies!**

**Yazu Katara Cozmoo (and Toph Monster)**


End file.
